Well here it is my birthday and it really doesn't bother me that I am another year older. I have made the choice to finally embrace all that comes with getting old, still I'm not going to just lay down and play dead, but I am not going to fight some things as hard.
Take my hair for example. For longer that I can remember I have been getting the color out of a bottle. Wasn't really sure what my natural hair color was anymore. I knew that the new hair that was coming in was getting pretty white, so I took it upon myself to fight the progress by getting it died every 6 or 7 weeks so that I didn't look like a skunk. This last year I decided to ease into letting it go gray by dying it a lighter blond color. That seemed to work better because the regrowth wasn't as noticeable. Anyway the last time I went in for a haircut and dye job, I made the hard CHOICE to just let it go the color it really was. So no dye job that time, and believe it or not it hasn't been to bad. In fact I have gotten allot of compliments on my "new" color. Kinda funny that when I let it go natural everyone thinks it looks great. So I am embracing the almost white hair. I look back on the last 20 years and honestly I think I have earned the "silver crown" that is adorning my head.
Now my weight is always going to be an issue. I am not really over weight I just don't weigh what I am used to weighing and since I REALLY food, (most of which isn't what a person can call low calorie) weigh will always be a struggle.Everyone tells me that gaining weight is to be expected as we get older, but I still want to make the choice to wage a small war on it. I have to choose to embrace this new figure, and that is still a work in progress. My mind is having a hard enough time getting used to looking at a white haired lady in the mirror, it goes into shock every time I ask it to accept the larger me. My mind seems to want to make the choice to fight with all its might, but my stomach and energy level seems to be overriding the choices my mind wants to make. This is the same old stuff, Just hate to exercise, but I need to make myself. I haven't been sleeping very good at all and the thought keep coming to me that if I would just do a little bit in the day I would sleep a whole bunch better. So once again I am going to try and make the right choice, every morning(or at least a couple times a week) (uh oh just gave myself an out) I will get my old body out of bed a little early and workout. Wish me luck again.
Getting older they say is a state of mind, you know the saying "You are only as old as you think you are" There are days I know I am at least 100. But I have decided to make the choice to focus on the age of about 45. I still felt pretty good at that age, so I just have to pull out all those old memories and make them stick in my mind.
The worst thing about getting older is that everyone you love is getting older also. This birthday I really miss my mom. I loved being able to go and visit with her and she would always call me her little girl (I am the youngest in my family) That always made me feel young and my mind would always go to all the things my mom would do for me on my birthday. I had some great parties when I was a kid. This year, because of life, I celebrated my birthday all by myself. Had a big bowl of homemade vanilla ice cream and some of Fallon's cantaloupe. Sure was tasty but I missed having someone here with me . I got to talk to all the girls, which was great and we got an email from the son, so that was good. but I missed having someone here to visit with and to tell me that I don't look a day over 35. ha,ha.
Anyway, the choice I am going to leave this post with is one of choosing to enjoy my age, love being a grandma and Nonnie to my grand kids. Try to be the best mom to my own children and show them all that getting older isn't a half bad trip.