The First of December

Here it is the first part of December and I am trying desperately to be ahead of the game when it comes to Christmas. I am trying to keep it simple and again here comes the Choice part. We can choose to fall in with all the hype of Christmas and do what the media and society thinks, or we can and center our celebration on why we really celebrate Christmas
I was trying to think of something to send to my son on his mission that would bring the reason for the holiday into his life without a lot of clutter that he would have to deal with if he got transferred. While discussing this with one of my daughters she suggested a sort of advent activity. With that in mind I called all his sisters and asked that they, along with their husbands write a little something to him, their testimonies, feeling about him serving a mission etc. I collected these along with some stories about his Grandparents and some Christmas stories. I put each one in an envelope and marked each one with a day so that he could open one every morning. I hope he liked it and will be able to see how much the gospel means to all of us.
I am teaching a lesson this Sunday at church and it is about creating a Christ centered Christmas. I have done a lot of soul searching trying to see if my choices are bringing me closer to this goal or if I am getting caught up in all the madness. I have come to the conclusion that I need to work harder to stay focused on Christ. In preparing my lesson I pulled out an Advent activity that me sister- in- law gave me a few years ago and that I shared with my ward sisters when I was the relief society pres. It gives you a different spiritual activity to do each day of Dec. along with a scripture and song. It is a great activity. I also found an activity that gives all the Book of Mormon references to the birth of Christ. One thing poem I sent to my son was about what Samuel the Lamanite said in his prophecy about the birth of Christ.
I think we all need to ask ourselves if our Choices during this time of year will bring us closer to Christ. I admit some of my choices need some fine tuning. I am bound and determined to bring my thoughts closer to the true meaning of Christmas. I am going to look for opportunities to act in His name, to be an instrument in His hands and to Serve. There is such a need if we will just make the Choice to follow the promptings that we receive and to be aware of those around us.

"WHEN SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LET PEOPLE FALL"

I am struggling a bit with how to approach this post. I have had some things happen in the past couple of years that have made me reflect a bit on some hard choices people have to make in their lives.
Does a person ALWAYS help someone out when you know that they might just keep on making the same mistake. But you also know that if you didn't help them out it could mean that they could end up in jail, or have a really negative effect on the rest of their life. You know that your choice to help them makes it so they never have to face the consequences of their choices.
What to do, what to do. Should a person make the choice to stand back and let the chips fall,but be there to try and help pick up the pieces. Do you walk away and hope they learn a lesson without doing to much damage? I don't know!
A person wants the effect of the choices they make to help others to be postive, but when the only effect you see is the person continuing to dig deeper, you really begin to question your choice. I guess you just have to do what you think is right, talk to the person you are trying to help and wait and see. I guess the old adage, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on ME. I know I have a bit of the enabler in me, I like to think I have that magic want that makes it all better. I have come to realize lately that some choices I have made, have made things worse for people, and they don't even know it.
I guess I am going to make a decision to make the choice to let people make their own mistakes. (as hard as that is going to be) The only way we grow is to face our mistakes, make the choice to change, and then DO IT> If I bale people out, I am depriving them of the opportunity to grow and learn. Wish me luck.

Gettin Older

Well here it is my birthday and it really doesn't bother me that I am another year older. I have made the choice to finally embrace all that comes with getting old, still I'm not going to just lay down and play dead, but I am not going to fight some things as hard.
Take my hair for example. For longer that I can remember I have been getting the color out of a bottle. Wasn't really sure what my natural hair color was anymore. I knew that the new hair that was coming in was getting pretty white, so I took it upon myself to fight the progress by getting it died every 6 or 7 weeks so that I didn't look like a skunk. This last year I decided to ease into letting it go gray by dying it a lighter blond color. That seemed to work better because the regrowth wasn't as noticeable. Anyway the last time I went in for a haircut and dye job, I made the hard CHOICE to just let it go the color it really was. So no dye job that time, and believe it or not it hasn't been to bad. In fact I have gotten allot of compliments on my "new" color. Kinda funny that when I let it go natural everyone thinks it looks great. So I am embracing the almost white hair. I look back on the last 20 years and honestly I think I have earned the "silver crown" that is adorning my head.
Now my weight is always going to be an issue. I am not really over weight I just don't weigh what I am used to weighing and since I REALLY food, (most of which isn't what a person can call low calorie) weigh will always be a struggle.Everyone tells me that gaining weight is to be expected as we get older, but I still want to make the choice to wage a small war on it. I have to choose to embrace this new figure, and that is still a work in progress. My mind is having a hard enough time getting used to looking at a white haired lady in the mirror, it goes into shock every time I ask it to accept the larger me. My mind seems to want to make the choice to fight with all its might, but my stomach and energy level seems to be overriding the choices my mind wants to make. This is the same old stuff, Just hate to exercise, but I need to make myself. I haven't been sleeping very good at all and the thought keep coming to me that if I would just do a little bit in the day I would sleep a whole bunch better. So once again I am going to try and make the right choice, every morning(or at least a couple times a week) (uh oh just gave myself an out) I will get my old body out of bed a little early and workout. Wish me luck again.
Getting older they say is a state of mind, you know the saying "You are only as old as you think you are" There are days I know I am at least 100. But I have decided to make the choice to focus on the age of about 45. I still felt pretty good at that age, so I just have to pull out all those old memories and make them stick in my mind.
The worst thing about getting older is that everyone you love is getting older also. This birthday I really miss my mom. I loved being able to go and visit with her and she would always call me her little girl (I am the youngest in my family) That always made me feel young and my mind would always go to all the things my mom would do for me on my birthday. I had some great parties when I was a kid. This year, because of life, I celebrated my birthday all by myself. Had a big bowl of homemade vanilla ice cream and some of Fallon's cantaloupe. Sure was tasty but I missed having someone here with me . I got to talk to all the girls, which was great and we got an email from the son, so that was good. but I missed having someone here to visit with and to tell me that I don't look a day over 35. ha,ha.
Anyway, the choice I am going to leave this post with is one of choosing to enjoy my age, love being a grandma and Nonnie to my grand kids. Try to be the best mom to my own children and show them all that getting older isn't a half bad trip.

Better Choices

Well here it is a whole summer later. I can't believe it has been since May that I have updated this blog. That was not a good "choice" but it was a choice never the less. So many things have gone on this summer and I have tried to make the choices that would put me in a positive place and for the most part I think I have been able to do this.
My son and daughter have made one of the best choices. They both made the choice to go to the temple and receive their endowments. It was a great day for our family. All my children were able to be at the temple that day. I sat there and looked at them all and I could see the eternities surrounding us, and us all being together. We were lucky enough to be surrounded by about 60 or more friends and family, what a day. I know this day didn't just happen. It was made possible by my son and daughter making some very tough but RIGHT choices, and working very hard. It took allot of faith and prayers for them both to know that this WAS the right choice for them. I know that I am sure grateful for the choice they both made.
Dad, had a rough summer. I wish I could have made it easier for him. In the end he was able to have his job returned to full time employment. Now he has to make sure that he makes the right choices so that we don't have to go through this again. This is one of the examples where the choices that are out of our control has a definite affect on us. So we need to make sure that we look at not only what our choices will do to us, but to take into consideration what effect it might have on our loved ones.
I have been having a hard time as of late and I am not sure exactly why or what choices I can make to help get myself back on top. I seem to be stuck in a bit of a depression. It just sort of happened. I have a good day here and there but for the most part I just don't have the energy to do much. I get up in the morning with the resolve to get allot done and accomplish something but breakfast and the dishes is about all I can do. I now have some understanding of others that go through this. It is hard and it is not something you can just snap your fingers and have it all better. I guess I just need to get on my knees and ask for help and guidance, and then try to make and stick to some positive choices. I think I need to make me a bit more of a priority. I have spent the last 34 years making sure everyone else is taken care of, I think I have forgotten how to really take care of myself. Wish me luck.
My son is now on his mission in Baltimore and I am so pleased that he made this choice. I know he will be such a great example to those he comes in contact with. This choice will really make a difference in his life.

Memories

I was listening to the Tabernacle Choir sing this morning while fixing breakfast and they sang the song "Oh What a Beautiful Morning". When I heard this song my mind went immediately to my Mom and Grannie. They both made the choice to see the good in everyday even tho they both had every reason to be bitter and negative. I need to find the words to that song and put them up on my mirror so that I can start everyday excited about what is ahead. My mom seemed to live for that excitement, she couldn't wait to see who she would meet, or who she would help that day. Grannie was the same way. She was the perfect person to be at the help desk in the bank. She always had a smile on her face and a hello for everyone that walked in. I am going to try and make this my Choice to work on for the week. I am going to go into the day knowing that the current day is going to be the BEST DAY EVER!!!!

Saying Goodbye to a Good Old Friend

We have had to make a hard Choice this week. We have had to decided what would be the best thing to do for our old and trusted horse SHOOTER. He has been a family friend for a long time. We got him at a time of another loss. Our mare BABE had gotten really sick with sand colic. (that is where a horse will eat rocks and sand, either by accident while they eat or just because they like to eat rocks) Babe had eaten so many tiny rocks that they had filled her stomach and had impacted in her intestines. Anyway dad took her down to Logandale in the middle of the night to see if there was anything they could do, but it was too bad and we had to put her down. Babe had sort of been Allison's "go to" horse so we were now one horse short. We put the word out around Alamo and a good friend, Andy Bailey, called and said that he was looking to sell his rope horse so that he could get a new one. We jumped on the opportunity and a beautiful palomino gelding came to live at our house. Alli fell in love with him as did all of us. He was so dependable that we parent never had to worry about our kids when they were on him. We knew that he would get them safely to the corral at the end of the day. He has been the first horse and only horse allot of our grandchildren have ridden, so there are enough pictures of the old guy around that I know we will never forget him. Anyway, over the past few years he has really gone down hill. He was 28 years old . This past winter was tough on him, we kept him in the barn as much as possible and he never lost his appetite, but he wasn't using anything he ate. Over the last couple of weeks he had started dragging his feet when he walked and he had lost ALLOT of weight, becoming just skin and bones. We couldn't stand to watch him suffer so we made the CHOICE to give him a dignified way out. Dad took him out to to Meghan and Cassidy's this past weekend so that he could be buried out on the range. It was hard and I will miss him but it was an easier choice that to come home and find him gone. The one thing I do know, is that Grandpa Jim and Grandpa Dodge just got one heck of a horse to ride.

Sometimes Life is Just Plain Yucky

Our house has had a rough week. We have been really busy with things, Dad has had his end of the year FFA banquet and I have ended up working almost everyday. I also had to get my application in for the full time job I am going to be getting.( choice to send out positive thoughts) So it has been a bit crazy. Then on top of all of that, Dad was notified that his job was going to be cut to a half time job. This would mean that he would not get any health insurance or retirement paid into the system. Not the kind of news a person wants to hear, especially when jobs are so few and far between. We still can't figure out what people have against dad or FFA program, but it is hard to keep up your spirits when we have had to have this fight EVERY year. It just makes a person tired.
Here is where the CHOICE part comes into play. We all have bad things happen to us and like I have said before what we do with our attitude during these times is the real test of a person. I read a story a long time ago in one of those "Chicken Soup for The Soul" books. It tells about a couple who had been away for Christmas. They had driven all day to get home and had arrived late at night. Instead of unloading the car right then, they had decided to just go in the house and get some sleep. When they got up the next morning they looked out the window and saw that their car had been stolen, with all their Christmas presents still in the car. Now the wife was really upset and was ranting and raving around. The husband, just looked out the window, walked into the kitchen for breakfast and then went to get ready for work. Now that really made the wife mad. When she accused her husband of not caring he simply asked if her getting mad brought their stuff back. That comment made her stop and take a breath. He went on to say that he was going to call the police and report the theft and then call their insurance agent, but him getting upset was not going to make the car come back. If he got upset all it would do would ruin his day and he CHOSE not to have his day ruined.
I love this story, and every time I have been tempted to get upset or let hate and anger take over my life because of a situation ,I think about this story. So, even tho I don't like what people have done to my husband, and I don't like the stress they have put us under. I won't let them make choices for me. I choose to try and find a solution, to not dwell on their pettiness. To look at every positive option and work on those things that will get me to a positive solution. I hope I can help Dad find this Choice in his life. We have lived through this same scenario before and it wasn't pretty, I hope that I can be positive enough for the both of us until he can get a handle on his emotions and make the positive Choices I know he will eventually make.

Past Choices

I know we aren't supposed to look at the choices we have made in the past and feel guilty about them. We are supposed to learn and move forward. But sometimes it is hard to move forward when something happens and you know that if you had made a different choice in the past you would have been in a better situtation in the present. I am going to have to make a choice now that I should have made a long time ago. I am going to apply for a full-time job, so that I can help out here at home. It is going to be hard and I know that I will have to work to over come some feeling I know I will have about not being able to spend as much time with my grandchildren but I really feel it is a choice that I have to make right now. I hope my kids will understand and I hope I can find a job.

Eternal Choices

I have been thinking a lot about how some of our choices in life have a greater impact than others. I guess that goes without saying. The choice of what you eat in the morning doesn't matter near as much as the choice of who you marry. Anyway, the thing that I have been really thinking about lately is the fact that there are only a few choices that a person makes that truly have ETERNAL consequences.
In my humble opinion the first eternal choice would be about membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was born to a part member family. My mom was a member as were my maternal grandparents. My dad on the other hand was baptised but not active. My mom took me to church but never forced me to go. I was one of those teenagers that went to church, but I don't think I ever really had a testimony of my own. I made some choices in high school that I am sure didn't help my efforts to gain a testimony and I struggled a bit. When I made the choice to become an exchange student and was sent to Australia for a year, I looked at it as an opportunity to find out some answers for myself. I was away from family and friends so the only real influence I had was what I would seek out. I made the choice to read the Book of Mormon and actually think about what I read. To look up , study and ponder things. This was the first time I had really put some effort into finding a testimony for myself. When I got to Tasmania, I made the effort to find a Branch so that I could try and get to church. I couldn't go every week, but I made sure that I would study and read every Sunday. Guess what, by the time I finished reading the Book of Mormon, I had truly gained the testimony I had been seeking. I made the Choice then and there that when I got home I would not waver and that was the best Choice I could have made. I have gained such strength and comfort over the years knowing what can be ahead of me.
The next choice I made that I know has eternal consequences for me, was choosing someone to marry. I knew that I wanted to be married in the temple, I wanted that eternal marriage so that I could be assured that I could have my family together forever. I tried to make sure that I dated guys that could make that wish come true. It is funny how Heavenly Father will put us in the right situation to make things happen if we will just listen. The summer job I thought I had in Fallon was given to someone else and I was able to get a job out of the blue in Wells, Nevada. That was were I needed to be to meet the person I was supposed to marry. The decision to say Yes to the marriage proposal from Cortney Dahl was pretty easy. Heavenly Father had put me there so I actually didn't argue with him this time.
The third eternal decision that I have faced was to have children. This choice was a no brain er, of course I wanted a family. I am so grateful that I was able to have children. I know that sometimes a husband and wife don't have children in their home, but I am sure that for the most part this isn't a choice they make, and that they will be blessed with an eternal family of choice spirits that need great moms and dads. Anyway, I have come to realize that the choice to have children is a great responsibility. As a parent you always feel responsible for your children's eternal welfare. I know that they have their free agency, but it is my job to make sure that they have the tools and knowledge that will help them make the choices that will get them back with me in the end. Each day, I worry and weigh my efforts, so that I can be an example to them, so that they can make the eternal choices they need to make in their lives. This is definitely one of the on going choices in a persons life. I know that my mom worried about me until the day she passed away. I hope that the choices I make in my life are up to the task of being a good influence in my children and now my grandchildren's lives.
My son, has made great choice lately. He has made the choice to be of service to the Lord by accepting a call to be a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He will be serving in the Maryland Baltimore U.S. Mission. I am so pleased that he made this choice. He will be a great missionary, because he is a great person and has a testimony of the gospel. I will miss him, but I am making the choice to be supportive and excited right along with him.

A Little Success

OK, here it is the first of April, now a person could make a whole bunch of choices today and then when they don't follow through they can just say it was all an April Fools joke. I am not going to be one of those persons. This past week has been pretty good, in the follow through with choices department. I have finally kept up with the diet and eating better dept. The drinking of eight glasses of water is about killing me,(anyone need to know where the best restrooms in Fallon are, just ask) but everyone keeps telling me that after the first week or so your body will get used to it and things will even out. I sure HOPE so. I have also been fixing better meals and eating earlier in the evenings. I feel better when I can eat around 5. It also makes it so a person can go outside and work dinner off a bit before going to bed. Guess what the exercising is finally off the ground too. I have been able to get on the elliptical for a few minutes a couple times a day. I read in the "17 Day Diet" that if you will just exercise just 15 to 17 min a day it will make a different. So that choice is less overwhelming than 45 min. Trying to make it longer each time. Now that the weather is better I am going to get on the bike. Trying to make the choice of whether to try a garden again this year. Our water is so salting that I think that is what is killing everything. Might try the container gardens that the girls keep talking about. That way I can bring in some different soil, and run the water through the compost tea maker we have. Again more of those choices to make. It has been a while since I have done a complete deep clean of our house including shampooing the carpets. So I have made the choice that I am going to try and get this done this spring. I figure if I take one room and de-clutter, clean and spruce up stuff and then at least shampoo the living room and dining room (minus moving the china hutch, or maybe I will just to clean it out) I will be doing good. So since I have had success on follow through lately, lets all keep our fingers crossed that this choice will also find success. I have been working on getting our financial situation on better footing. Made the choice to try and get our house refinanced. Hope it all goes through because I was notified today that our payments will be going up 200.00 a month. yuck Keep your fingers crossed.

Why are the Easiest the Hardest

Okay, will someone please tell me why, when it comes to what food I put in my mouth I seem to continually make the WRONG choices. It seem that I am pretty good for a little while but in the end I seem to go right back to the wrong stuff. I want to eat healthy and really it isn't all that hard to do, but I keep making the choice to put that bag of chips in my belly instead of that apple. I don't really have much weight to loose it mostly a "feel better about myself kind of thing" but for me, at this age, I am really having a hard time sticking to the right choices. I bought a new diet book "The 17 day diet" There are four different levels with each one having different foods so that a person doesn't get bored And each level lasts 17 days . The author says that a person can stand anything for 17 days. Well he hasn't met me. I made a choice that I was really going to do this and it has been just two days and I am already making the choice to start again day after tomorrow. What a weakling. The bad thing about the whole thing is while I am eating the wrong stuff I will sit there and point out to myself that I am putting things that are off limits into my mouth, but it always tastes so good. What to do, what to do. Somewhere I have to find some determination(I used to have an abundance of the stuff) and make my good choices stick. I have to I am down to two pair of pants that fit, and I am not going to buy any more. That is this weeks major choice. Choose to eat what I am supposed to. (Guess I better hide the chips)

Will I ever progress?

March came roaring in like a lion, so hopefully it will go out like a lamb. Missed last weeks weekly progress report because I don't like to report negative things. I just can't get myself moving. The mornings have been really hard because I haven't been sleeping very good, but the afternoon isn't working so great because I am tired. (does that sound like I am making the choice to makes excuses) I guess that is what I am doing. The sad thing is I really think that I would be able to sleep better if I would just follow through with my choice to exercise. So I am going to try.
I have been trying to figure out how I can make some extra money to help get caught up on some bills. I made the choice to make some headbands and have made forty dollars so far, hope I will sell more soon. I don't really want to work full time but that choice might be made for me. But what could I do, or what would I want to do. Substitute teaching has gotten me spoiled I kind get to make the choice when I work and when I don't. I am not sure how much I would like not being able to make that choice.
I made a big choice this week. I had to figure out some health insurance issues for myself. It was all so confusing but I think I made a good choice, at least I hope so. I guess I will find out as soon as I get sick and have to use it for something. (which I hope won't be in the near future.)

reflection on choices

Can't believe that February is almost over. That one really snuck up on me. With all that has gone on this month I really haven't had much time to digest the loss of my mom. The choices that were made concerning her memorial I think were good ones. We kept it very upbeat. My cousin played the organ before the service and it was great. Mostly 40's music that was great to listen too. We were able to find some great music to go with the slide show, so that turned out to be extra special. The services themselves turned out great. My siblings made the choice to speak from the heart about mom and it was great. Danelle and I made the final choice for mom today. We gave the final approval for the headstone. It will have her name and dates along with a pin cushion and spool of thread and the saying " Bestest mom and grandma in the world" I am going to miss her terribly but she is in such a better place. Now I just need to make the choices that will help me be more like her.
Trying to give a progress report on the choices I have made thus far. Not doing so well I am afraid. I am getting up early and getting ready for the day, but the exercise thing is still giving me fits. I just have to find someone to exercise with that won't let me off the hook.(Dad is too easy on me). I have got to get it done because I want to keep up with my grandkids and if the past couple of weeks is any indication of things to come, I won't last long with the kiddos. So once again I am making the choice to EXERCISE and will give weekly updates. keep your fingers crossed for me.

"Final" Choices

Alot has changed in the few days since I last wrote. My mom never woke up. But she slept peacefully as she went to see her family on the other side of the veil. I was able to be with her, a choice that I made, and it was one of the sweetest experience I have had. I knew my brother Craig, who passed away several years ago, was in the room waiting for mom. So I wispered in my moms ear that we would be ok, we would miss her, but it was ok for her to go get that big bear hug that my brother was so famous for. Minutes later she peacefully left this earth. Her final choice, and I know there is a big dance going on in heaven right now to welcome her home.
But with her choice to leave us, we who are left behind have had to make some choices and some have been hard. Planning her memorial has been a bit hard for me because she was such a great person to me. I want her to be remembered for all the things she did for others while on this earth and it is just hard to do her memory justice.
We have had to make the choice of where to hold the service. Myself I think I would have liked the Chapel but I needed to make sure that all my family felt comfortable so we have decided to have the service at the funeral home and the dinner after at the chapel. I think that choice is the best option.
Now what do we do for the service itself. Do we have the bishop conduct, but we decided that we wanted it to be about mom. So we are going to have a slide show, and then just talk about mom and remember her and what she meant to those around her.
I have been able to go through pictures with my sisters and it has been fun to see all the different sides of my mother. See her from her humble beginnings, raising her family, and enjoying her grandchildren.
I hope the choices I am making to honor my mom, will please her, because I know she will be watching. She is not one to miss a party.

A Lifetime of Choices

I have been spending a lot of time with my Mom the past few days. Since she isn't awake it has given me a lot of time to thing about her and her life. What choices did she have to make to get her to where she was? Did she wish to change some of the choices she made? I wonder, because I know she had to make some very hard choices to help her family survive.
My mom and dad loved the ranching life and lived in Northern California on the Madeline Plains Ranch. It was owned by the Dodge Bros. Corp. My Nonnie decided to sell the ranch without giving my parents any choice in the matter so they had to move back to Fallon to a Dairy in Stillwater District. This was not their choice, so they weren't really happy. Just goes to show a person, that having a say in a choice makes a difference on how successful that choice is. While in Stillwater there were a lot of things that happened that forced my parents, mainly my mom to make very hard life changing choices.
While here my mom was in a bad car rollover. She had all my brothers and sisters in the car with her. Toni and Kristi were about 18 mo., Danelle would have been almost 7, Bob was 9, Craig was 11. I guess the car was upside down and mom had to make the choice to sit and wait for the car to catch fire or get her family out at any cost. Of course she did what any mother would and decided to save her family. So she put her hand through the window and broke out the glass so that everyone could get out. In doing so, she really tore up her right hand and arm, but no one else was hurt. When the ambulance got there and saw my moms arm they weren't sure if it could be saved. They took her to Reno to get the bleeding stopped and then on to San Fransisco Med. Center where she underwent a major surgery. Now bear in mind this was in 1953 I think. The doctors took the tendons from three of her fingers and reconstructed her index finger and thumb so that she would at least have pinchers, but the nerve damage was to much so my mom spent the rest of her life not having any feeling in her right arm from the elbow down. This probably wouldn't have been so bad but she had twins in diapers and was right handed, and this all happened when she was just around 32 YEARS OLD This is where her CHOICE came in to
play. She made the choice not to let this hold her down. She worked hard to learn to do everything left handed. She learned to put diaper pins in with her teeth and one hand.(way before disposable diapers) She had to go to San Fransisco a lot for therapy, but she always took one of my older siblings and treated it as a learning experience. In the end she could do just about anything with both hands and later in life this became a great blessing to others because she could teach knitting and crocheting to both right and left handed people.
Not long after this an earthquake came through Fallon and did major damage. In fact it went right under the house in Stillwater and did some major damage. The chimney came in through the roof and second floor and ended up in the living room. No one was hurt so that was good. Mom made the Choice to stay and try to make a go of the farm. But.......
They just got things fixed up and my dad suffered a major heart attack and was rushed to Reno and then on to San Fransisco. He had major heart surgery. I can remember the scar on his chest, it went from armpit to armpit. He was in a coma for 4 weeks. Mom had to make some very hard choices in order to save her family again. She decided that they needed to sell the farm and move closer to town. One the expense of rebuilding everything really put a strain on them and also the cost of Dad not being able to do the farm work was just too much. So they moved into Fallon. Dad got better but was never able to do as much as he once had. He went to work for Dodge construction and things were good for awhile.
After I was born, Dodge Construction was sold, so Dad was looking for work and mom made the Choice to go to work to help out with bills. That had to be a very hard Choice to make because she was a stay at home mom. She got a job at a local building supply store called Builders Supply, being their bookkeeper. It was great because it was just down the road from our house and they let her bring me to work.
These stories make me realize that I stress way too much over choices that I have to make. None of them have really had a huge impact on my life. The stories also make me realize that I can make the hard choices when I need to because it is in my DNA. Thanks MOM you are the best.

Big People Choices, YUCK

Wow, the past few days have been pretty rough for me in the choice department. I have been having to make choices for another person. Now I know I have done that before, especially when my children were small, but that is what a parent does. We make choices for our children so that they can grow up safe and sound. When making choices for another becomes hard is when a child has to make Choices for their parents. It just seem so against all normal thinking, but that is exactly what I have had to do the past couple of days. My mom isn't doing so well, health wise. It kinda crept up on me, even tho I knew it would happen, but it was always going to be a tomorrow thing.I have had to make the choices about her life and it has been a hard. Do I bring her home and take care of her myself. Would that be best? Should we place her in a skilled nursing home or try and let her stay in the place she has called home for the last 5 years? These are all choices I have had to make. Not easy, but I know she made hard choices for me during my life so this is the least I can do for her. I love her so much and I know that is why these choices are so hard. These choices mean that her time on earth is drawing to a close. That is the Reality and I hate to face that reality. Mom you are the best.

Accountability

You know what I really hate about making choices? It is the fact that we have to be accountable for those choices. Now granted sometimes the only person that we have to be accountable to is ourselves. I know I tend to let myself off the hook way to many times. So maybe I need to fool myself into thinking that I will be letting a whole bunch of people down when I don't follow through with my choices. I am either too easy on myself or I tend to blame others when I don't follow through. Just like my exercising. I have done pretty good with the sit ups and stuff but I haven't done so well with the elliptical. See Dad is having trouble sleeping so he has been ending up in the chair by morning and I surely don't want to wake him up so I don't use the elliptical.( I could use it after he goes to work, but it seems that if I don't get it done first thing it doesn't happen.) So if I am out of shape it is all Dads fault, it is not the fact that I have made the choice to blame him, thus giving myself an out. I have found that the weather, my health, my kids, my grandchildren, my mom, or a million other things are just too easy to blame. That being said, I am making the choice to hold myself accountable, and not let myself off the hook. Maybe I need the good old reward system implemented. So many days of exercise will get me a movie night or something. That might work.
Now for a progress report on some of my choices so far. Getting up in the morning, and getting ready for my day is going great. Exercising, well I have already admitted that it should be going better. My knitting is going great. I overcame my fear of making knitted lace, and have completed two knitted lace doilies.
I have a question, can anyone tell me what Choices, Goals and Habits have in common.

I Need Help

I have come to realize that I need help. There are just too many Choices to make, too many options. I heard the other day on the radio that too many choices cause a great deal of stress in people. Take a box of chocolate. People are much happier when given a box with just 3 or 4 different kinds of chocolate, instead of the box with 24 different kinds of chocolate. Having that many options is rough on a person.
So what I need is someone to come and take me to a place where there are only a couple options to every situation. This would be great. I know that can't happen so now I just have to figure out a way to make myself limit the option, and then relieving some of the stress, and then make the choice. Hard to do especially when we are always told that the options are limitless. So if anyone has a way to make this happen let me know.

Almost a week now

Can't believe that it has been a week already since I started this little experiment. I have been taking some baby steps in making the choices that will make a difference in my life. The thing is, I hadn't realized how I had let go of the responsibility of making choices. I just seemed to do nothing, which is a choice, but I always made excuses or let myself believe that others had more power than I did. There are so many things in my life that I want to change. Mostly because I didn't used to be this way. I think I remember myself being able to get so much more done in a day(not sure if old age is just enhancing my memory). I think if I were completely honest with myself, I would have to say I have let myself become lazy. This is the biggest thing I want to change. I want to make the choices that will keep me focused and actively working on the things in my life I need to accomplish. So I want to add another couple of choices that I am sure(positive thoughts and language) will make me happier and will help in my relationship with those around me. Giving an old saying a different twist, "When momma is happy everyone is happy".
This past weekend I had a visit from one of my daughters and three of my grandchildren. While they were here I looked through some old pictures that came to my house from my mom and dad. I have felt that I really need to go through them and get labels on them. So this is my new choice. I am going to get the containers taken care of. I have decided that this week I am choosing to start small, just one box, labeled and divided into separate containers. I know i can do this.
The other choice I am going to make is to drastically cut my time in the company of Television. I have allowed it to sap my self worth. I know it will mean not being in the same room as my husband as much but maybe this choice will rub off on him. I am visualizing all the things I can accomplish with this reclaimed time.
Well another week ahead of making great choices, I will report progress made.

Reward vs Damage

What a couple of days. Had a couple of small rewards with the choices I have made the past few days. By continuing everyday to make the choice to get out of bed and exercise I have been reminded that, yes, I do still have some muscles. They have been very vocal about their displeasure of having been woke up from several years of sleep. As a result, I am getting up from chairs a little slower so that the muscles can take naps during the day. That way they will be ready for their morning work . I have finished most of the project I was working on, which is good. I have also made the choice to try something that I have always wanted to learn, that is Knitted Lace. My grandmother made knitted lace doilies and I thought they were so beautiful, but they also looked very hard to make. This time I made the choice to face my fears and give it a try and so far not to bad. I have only had to start over once. Hey, with my new found positive attitude it will be a piece of cake! Progress reports will be coming. All these choices will bring rewards.
Some events that happened to people I know over the past couple of days has reminded me that not all choices will bring rewards or positive feedback. Some of our choices will bring damage into our lives and the lives of those around us. I think that is why it is so important to make sure a person takes their time and weighs out as many aspects of a choice as possible. We need to realize that choices do have effects on those around us, good and bad. I know that we can never plan for everything but we should make sure that we look a couple different sides of things. With that in mind I am going really think the major choices in my life.
.,

Day Two

Ok, I made some small successes today. I did get up when I woke up, that was at 5:15. Kept wishing that I could have slept just a bit longer but I made myself get out of that nice warm bed. I even got dressed right away, mainly I didn't want to exercise in my bathrobe. I also did some exercise. I am starting slow on this one because I have been pretty lazy for a while and I don't want to over do, but I will be starting my time on the elliptical tomorrow morning. So the first couple hours of my day went great. It was after that I had a hard time making the right choices. I have noticed that I have a hard time with motivation sometimes (well most of the time) I know there are things I should or could be doing but I just can't seem to make myself get started. I am going to have to find a way to get myself charged up about getting stuff done. I finally got going this afternoon and ended up finishing a project that should have been done this morning. By choosing to wait I have put myself behind for tomorrow. Maybe this exercise stuff will give me the energy I need. This is definitely one area of making choices that I need to work on. I seem to choose to be a procrastinator. I don't like that fact but it is a fact. But I know(positive thinking) that I can change this tendency and I am choosing to do so.

Day One

I think I spent most of the night trying to figure out what direction I wanted to take this blog and the choice I made was to just see where it went. You never know it just might take on a life of it's own and surprise us all.
With that in mind, I spent the day just observing myself. I know that sounds strange, but how often do we take time to really pay attention to what we do and how we do things. I came to the conclusion that most of the choices I make during the day are almost done on auto pilot. Something comes up and I just automatically make a choice without any thought about it at all. I guess this is where having a positive attitude can really make a difference. If I have a positive attitude or outlook it stands to reason that these auto pilot choices will be of a more positive direction.
My day is filled with so many small choices, will I get out of bed right as soon as I wake up, or will I talk myself into just a couple more minutes of sleep. What will I fix for breakfast, what will I put in Dad's lunch, and on and on. I have decided to do a little revamp of my mornings to see if I do a positive change in the mornings will that choice make a difference in the rest of my day.
I have made the choice to change just a couple little things. First- I will get up as soon as I wake up instead of trying to talk myself in to some more sleep. I usually don't go back to sleep anyway, and end up with a back ache for staying in bed to long. Second- When I get up I am going to get dressed right away. I don't remember ever seeing my mom fixing breakfast in her robe when I was little. She always was the first to get out of bed in the mornings and would get ready for the day. This included hair fixed, her makeup on ect. all before she started breakfast. Maybe this took some stress away because no matter what, she never had to say, "Just a minute, I have to get dressed." She was ready. Third- I want to start doing some sort of exercise program in the morning. If I do that I am going to have to switch the order a bit, Wake up, exercise, and then get ready. This all has to be done before 6:15. NO PROBLEM!
Now to choose what to do for exercise. Right now I think I will use the elliptical machine on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I will do a short exercise video on the other two days.
There Choices made with the thought in mind that I can do this because I am going to feel so good. Plus, if I slide I will have to see it in print this time.

This is the beginning

I had a dream last night that I was supposed to start a blog page called The Choice Experiment and I have learned over the years that I need to follow these moments of inspiration, so here I go.
I have always been one that has believed that everything we do in life is based on some sort of choice on our part. It is either a direct choice, that we make or it is a choice about how we handle a situtation that has been placed in our life. So this experiment blog will be about the choices I make in my life and how my life is affected by these choices.
I have already been faced with several choices in just trying to set this blog page up, what color font, what font, what template to use, all of which are a little overwhelming for a blogging novice like me. I am sure that this page is going to evolve over the next little while, so that will be exciting.
I think the next choice I make is the choice to make my life full of positives. I have read several books lately about how we should try to always surround ourselves with positive thoughts and actions. I have to admit that this is a bit harder for me than I thought. I really have no excuse for negative thoughts because I was raised by a very positive mother. She seemed to always see the good and the possibilities in any situtation. She went through so much but always knew that she would be just fine, she would excell and never doubted. As a result of this thinking she was a success in anything she tried. So with this example in my back pocket I am going to make my life a great life.