Can't believe that February is almost over. That one really snuck up on me. With all that has gone on this month I really haven't had much time to digest the loss of my mom. The choices that were made concerning her memorial I think were good ones. We kept it very upbeat. My cousin played the organ before the service and it was great. Mostly 40's music that was great to listen too. We were able to find some great music to go with the slide show, so that turned out to be extra special. The services themselves turned out great. My siblings made the choice to speak from the heart about mom and it was great. Danelle and I made the final choice for mom today. We gave the final approval for the headstone. It will have her name and dates along with a pin cushion and spool of thread and the saying " Bestest mom and grandma in the world" I am going to miss her terribly but she is in such a better place. Now I just need to make the choices that will help me be more like her.
Trying to give a progress report on the choices I have made thus far. Not doing so well I am afraid. I am getting up early and getting ready for the day, but the exercise thing is still giving me fits. I just have to find someone to exercise with that won't let me off the hook.(Dad is too easy on me). I have got to get it done because I want to keep up with my grandkids and if the past couple of weeks is any indication of things to come, I won't last long with the kiddos. So once again I am making the choice to EXERCISE and will give weekly updates. keep your fingers crossed for me.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
"Final" Choices
Alot has changed in the few days since I last wrote. My mom never woke up. But she slept peacefully as she went to see her family on the other side of the veil. I was able to be with her, a choice that I made, and it was one of the sweetest experience I have had. I knew my brother Craig, who passed away several years ago, was in the room waiting for mom. So I wispered in my moms ear that we would be ok, we would miss her, but it was ok for her to go get that big bear hug that my brother was so famous for. Minutes later she peacefully left this earth. Her final choice, and I know there is a big dance going on in heaven right now to welcome her home.
But with her choice to leave us, we who are left behind have had to make some choices and some have been hard. Planning her memorial has been a bit hard for me because she was such a great person to me. I want her to be remembered for all the things she did for others while on this earth and it is just hard to do her memory justice.
We have had to make the choice of where to hold the service. Myself I think I would have liked the Chapel but I needed to make sure that all my family felt comfortable so we have decided to have the service at the funeral home and the dinner after at the chapel. I think that choice is the best option.
Now what do we do for the service itself. Do we have the bishop conduct, but we decided that we wanted it to be about mom. So we are going to have a slide show, and then just talk about mom and remember her and what she meant to those around her.
I have been able to go through pictures with my sisters and it has been fun to see all the different sides of my mother. See her from her humble beginnings, raising her family, and enjoying her grandchildren.
I hope the choices I am making to honor my mom, will please her, because I know she will be watching. She is not one to miss a party.
But with her choice to leave us, we who are left behind have had to make some choices and some have been hard. Planning her memorial has been a bit hard for me because she was such a great person to me. I want her to be remembered for all the things she did for others while on this earth and it is just hard to do her memory justice.
We have had to make the choice of where to hold the service. Myself I think I would have liked the Chapel but I needed to make sure that all my family felt comfortable so we have decided to have the service at the funeral home and the dinner after at the chapel. I think that choice is the best option.
Now what do we do for the service itself. Do we have the bishop conduct, but we decided that we wanted it to be about mom. So we are going to have a slide show, and then just talk about mom and remember her and what she meant to those around her.
I have been able to go through pictures with my sisters and it has been fun to see all the different sides of my mother. See her from her humble beginnings, raising her family, and enjoying her grandchildren.
I hope the choices I am making to honor my mom, will please her, because I know she will be watching. She is not one to miss a party.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
A Lifetime of Choices
I have been spending a lot of time with my Mom the past few days. Since she isn't awake it has given me a lot of time to thing about her and her life. What choices did she have to make to get her to where she was? Did she wish to change some of the choices she made? I wonder, because I know she had to make some very hard choices to help her family survive.
My mom and dad loved the ranching life and lived in Northern California on the Madeline Plains Ranch. It was owned by the Dodge Bros. Corp. My Nonnie decided to sell the ranch without giving my parents any choice in the matter so they had to move back to Fallon to a Dairy in Stillwater District. This was not their choice, so they weren't really happy. Just goes to show a person, that having a say in a choice makes a difference on how successful that choice is. While in Stillwater there were a lot of things that happened that forced my parents, mainly my mom to make very hard life changing choices.
While here my mom was in a bad car rollover. She had all my brothers and sisters in the car with her. Toni and Kristi were about 18 mo., Danelle would have been almost 7, Bob was 9, Craig was 11. I guess the car was upside down and mom had to make the choice to sit and wait for the car to catch fire or get her family out at any cost. Of course she did what any mother would and decided to save her family. So she put her hand through the window and broke out the glass so that everyone could get out. In doing so, she really tore up her right hand and arm, but no one else was hurt. When the ambulance got there and saw my moms arm they weren't sure if it could be saved. They took her to Reno to get the bleeding stopped and then on to San Fransisco Med. Center where she underwent a major surgery. Now bear in mind this was in 1953 I think. The doctors took the tendons from three of her fingers and reconstructed her index finger and thumb so that she would at least have pinchers, but the nerve damage was to much so my mom spent the rest of her life not having any feeling in her right arm from the elbow down. This probably wouldn't have been so bad but she had twins in diapers and was right handed, and this all happened when she was just around 32 YEARS OLD This is where her CHOICE came in to
play. She made the choice not to let this hold her down. She worked hard to learn to do everything left handed. She learned to put diaper pins in with her teeth and one hand.(way before disposable diapers) She had to go to San Fransisco a lot for therapy, but she always took one of my older siblings and treated it as a learning experience. In the end she could do just about anything with both hands and later in life this became a great blessing to others because she could teach knitting and crocheting to both right and left handed people.
Not long after this an earthquake came through Fallon and did major damage. In fact it went right under the house in Stillwater and did some major damage. The chimney came in through the roof and second floor and ended up in the living room. No one was hurt so that was good. Mom made the Choice to stay and try to make a go of the farm. But.......
They just got things fixed up and my dad suffered a major heart attack and was rushed to Reno and then on to San Fransisco. He had major heart surgery. I can remember the scar on his chest, it went from armpit to armpit. He was in a coma for 4 weeks. Mom had to make some very hard choices in order to save her family again. She decided that they needed to sell the farm and move closer to town. One the expense of rebuilding everything really put a strain on them and also the cost of Dad not being able to do the farm work was just too much. So they moved into Fallon. Dad got better but was never able to do as much as he once had. He went to work for Dodge construction and things were good for awhile.
After I was born, Dodge Construction was sold, so Dad was looking for work and mom made the Choice to go to work to help out with bills. That had to be a very hard Choice to make because she was a stay at home mom. She got a job at a local building supply store called Builders Supply, being their bookkeeper. It was great because it was just down the road from our house and they let her bring me to work.
These stories make me realize that I stress way too much over choices that I have to make. None of them have really had a huge impact on my life. The stories also make me realize that I can make the hard choices when I need to because it is in my DNA. Thanks MOM you are the best.
My mom and dad loved the ranching life and lived in Northern California on the Madeline Plains Ranch. It was owned by the Dodge Bros. Corp. My Nonnie decided to sell the ranch without giving my parents any choice in the matter so they had to move back to Fallon to a Dairy in Stillwater District. This was not their choice, so they weren't really happy. Just goes to show a person, that having a say in a choice makes a difference on how successful that choice is. While in Stillwater there were a lot of things that happened that forced my parents, mainly my mom to make very hard life changing choices.
While here my mom was in a bad car rollover. She had all my brothers and sisters in the car with her. Toni and Kristi were about 18 mo., Danelle would have been almost 7, Bob was 9, Craig was 11. I guess the car was upside down and mom had to make the choice to sit and wait for the car to catch fire or get her family out at any cost. Of course she did what any mother would and decided to save her family. So she put her hand through the window and broke out the glass so that everyone could get out. In doing so, she really tore up her right hand and arm, but no one else was hurt. When the ambulance got there and saw my moms arm they weren't sure if it could be saved. They took her to Reno to get the bleeding stopped and then on to San Fransisco Med. Center where she underwent a major surgery. Now bear in mind this was in 1953 I think. The doctors took the tendons from three of her fingers and reconstructed her index finger and thumb so that she would at least have pinchers, but the nerve damage was to much so my mom spent the rest of her life not having any feeling in her right arm from the elbow down. This probably wouldn't have been so bad but she had twins in diapers and was right handed, and this all happened when she was just around 32 YEARS OLD This is where her CHOICE came in to
play. She made the choice not to let this hold her down. She worked hard to learn to do everything left handed. She learned to put diaper pins in with her teeth and one hand.(way before disposable diapers) She had to go to San Fransisco a lot for therapy, but she always took one of my older siblings and treated it as a learning experience. In the end she could do just about anything with both hands and later in life this became a great blessing to others because she could teach knitting and crocheting to both right and left handed people.
Not long after this an earthquake came through Fallon and did major damage. In fact it went right under the house in Stillwater and did some major damage. The chimney came in through the roof and second floor and ended up in the living room. No one was hurt so that was good. Mom made the Choice to stay and try to make a go of the farm. But.......
They just got things fixed up and my dad suffered a major heart attack and was rushed to Reno and then on to San Fransisco. He had major heart surgery. I can remember the scar on his chest, it went from armpit to armpit. He was in a coma for 4 weeks. Mom had to make some very hard choices in order to save her family again. She decided that they needed to sell the farm and move closer to town. One the expense of rebuilding everything really put a strain on them and also the cost of Dad not being able to do the farm work was just too much. So they moved into Fallon. Dad got better but was never able to do as much as he once had. He went to work for Dodge construction and things were good for awhile.
After I was born, Dodge Construction was sold, so Dad was looking for work and mom made the Choice to go to work to help out with bills. That had to be a very hard Choice to make because she was a stay at home mom. She got a job at a local building supply store called Builders Supply, being their bookkeeper. It was great because it was just down the road from our house and they let her bring me to work.
These stories make me realize that I stress way too much over choices that I have to make. None of them have really had a huge impact on my life. The stories also make me realize that I can make the hard choices when I need to because it is in my DNA. Thanks MOM you are the best.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Big People Choices, YUCK
Wow, the past few days have been pretty rough for me in the choice department. I have been having to make choices for another person. Now I know I have done that before, especially when my children were small, but that is what a parent does. We make choices for our children so that they can grow up safe and sound. When making choices for another becomes hard is when a child has to make Choices for their parents. It just seem so against all normal thinking, but that is exactly what I have had to do the past couple of days. My mom isn't doing so well, health wise. It kinda crept up on me, even tho I knew it would happen, but it was always going to be a tomorrow thing.I have had to make the choices about her life and it has been a hard. Do I bring her home and take care of her myself. Would that be best? Should we place her in a skilled nursing home or try and let her stay in the place she has called home for the last 5 years? These are all choices I have had to make. Not easy, but I know she made hard choices for me during my life so this is the least I can do for her. I love her so much and I know that is why these choices are so hard. These choices mean that her time on earth is drawing to a close. That is the Reality and I hate to face that reality. Mom you are the best.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Accountability
You know what I really hate about making choices? It is the fact that we have to be accountable for those choices. Now granted sometimes the only person that we have to be accountable to is ourselves. I know I tend to let myself off the hook way to many times. So maybe I need to fool myself into thinking that I will be letting a whole bunch of people down when I don't follow through with my choices. I am either too easy on myself or I tend to blame others when I don't follow through. Just like my exercising. I have done pretty good with the sit ups and stuff but I haven't done so well with the elliptical. See Dad is having trouble sleeping so he has been ending up in the chair by morning and I surely don't want to wake him up so I don't use the elliptical.( I could use it after he goes to work, but it seems that if I don't get it done first thing it doesn't happen.) So if I am out of shape it is all Dads fault, it is not the fact that I have made the choice to blame him, thus giving myself an out. I have found that the weather, my health, my kids, my grandchildren, my mom, or a million other things are just too easy to blame. That being said, I am making the choice to hold myself accountable, and not let myself off the hook. Maybe I need the good old reward system implemented. So many days of exercise will get me a movie night or something. That might work.
Now for a progress report on some of my choices so far. Getting up in the morning, and getting ready for my day is going great. Exercising, well I have already admitted that it should be going better. My knitting is going great. I overcame my fear of making knitted lace, and have completed two knitted lace doilies.
I have a question, can anyone tell me what Choices, Goals and Habits have in common.
Now for a progress report on some of my choices so far. Getting up in the morning, and getting ready for my day is going great. Exercising, well I have already admitted that it should be going better. My knitting is going great. I overcame my fear of making knitted lace, and have completed two knitted lace doilies.
I have a question, can anyone tell me what Choices, Goals and Habits have in common.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I Need Help
I have come to realize that I need help. There are just too many Choices to make, too many options. I heard the other day on the radio that too many choices cause a great deal of stress in people. Take a box of chocolate. People are much happier when given a box with just 3 or 4 different kinds of chocolate, instead of the box with 24 different kinds of chocolate. Having that many options is rough on a person.
So what I need is someone to come and take me to a place where there are only a couple options to every situation. This would be great. I know that can't happen so now I just have to figure out a way to make myself limit the option, and then relieving some of the stress, and then make the choice. Hard to do especially when we are always told that the options are limitless. So if anyone has a way to make this happen let me know.
So what I need is someone to come and take me to a place where there are only a couple options to every situation. This would be great. I know that can't happen so now I just have to figure out a way to make myself limit the option, and then relieving some of the stress, and then make the choice. Hard to do especially when we are always told that the options are limitless. So if anyone has a way to make this happen let me know.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Almost a week now
Can't believe that it has been a week already since I started this little experiment. I have been taking some baby steps in making the choices that will make a difference in my life. The thing is, I hadn't realized how I had let go of the responsibility of making choices. I just seemed to do nothing, which is a choice, but I always made excuses or let myself believe that others had more power than I did. There are so many things in my life that I want to change. Mostly because I didn't used to be this way. I think I remember myself being able to get so much more done in a day(not sure if old age is just enhancing my memory). I think if I were completely honest with myself, I would have to say I have let myself become lazy. This is the biggest thing I want to change. I want to make the choices that will keep me focused and actively working on the things in my life I need to accomplish. So I want to add another couple of choices that I am sure(positive thoughts and language) will make me happier and will help in my relationship with those around me. Giving an old saying a different twist, "When momma is happy everyone is happy".
This past weekend I had a visit from one of my daughters and three of my grandchildren. While they were here I looked through some old pictures that came to my house from my mom and dad. I have felt that I really need to go through them and get labels on them. So this is my new choice. I am going to get the containers taken care of. I have decided that this week I am choosing to start small, just one box, labeled and divided into separate containers. I know i can do this.
The other choice I am going to make is to drastically cut my time in the company of Television. I have allowed it to sap my self worth. I know it will mean not being in the same room as my husband as much but maybe this choice will rub off on him. I am visualizing all the things I can accomplish with this reclaimed time.
Well another week ahead of making great choices, I will report progress made.
This past weekend I had a visit from one of my daughters and three of my grandchildren. While they were here I looked through some old pictures that came to my house from my mom and dad. I have felt that I really need to go through them and get labels on them. So this is my new choice. I am going to get the containers taken care of. I have decided that this week I am choosing to start small, just one box, labeled and divided into separate containers. I know i can do this.
The other choice I am going to make is to drastically cut my time in the company of Television. I have allowed it to sap my self worth. I know it will mean not being in the same room as my husband as much but maybe this choice will rub off on him. I am visualizing all the things I can accomplish with this reclaimed time.
Well another week ahead of making great choices, I will report progress made.
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