2012

Here it is the end of January already. It has been a dry warm winter and that makes me a bit worried about what the summer will be like. But like they say, worrying about it won't change anything so just enjoy what has been sent our way.
My son celebrated his 26th birthday yesterday. The choices he has made in his life has put him in a different place in his life than where I thought he would be at 26. But the last big choice he made has put him on the right track. I wish I could have wished him a happy birthday on the phone or in person, but he is on his Mission in Maryland so a card and package will have to do.
I looked back on the choices I made or tried to make last year and for the most part I did pretty good. The whole exercise thing still is an on going problem, but I have made the choice to be A LOT more focused. I have started swimming when I get off work and it seem to be working out good. I can swim for an hour and then get things done here at home or do my running around in town. I have set a goal of three days a week. So again I am going to have to make the choice to get myself there and I WILL do it.
I made the choice to take a part time job with the school district. I am a dept secretary. the work isn't hard and I do enjoy getting to know some new people so it is fun. I think it was a good choice and it will help me reach my goal of having plenty of extra cash floating around to do some fun stuff and go see our kids.
On of my friends lost her husband this past Christmas. I have had a hard time knowing what to do to show her how sorry I am for her loss and how much I want to be there for her. I don't know why I have had a hard time with this choice, whether to go visit or to just call, I don't want to intrude, but I want her to know that I care deeply. Wow, writing this down made my choice seem so clear. I need to go visit and let her know that she is important and that I do care.
I am going to be keeping this blog up to date. That is my new choice, I have enjoyed writing and I am learning a little about myself, some good some bad, but by seeing both sides I am able to make the choice to change the bad.
got to run.

The First of December

Here it is the first part of December and I am trying desperately to be ahead of the game when it comes to Christmas. I am trying to keep it simple and again here comes the Choice part. We can choose to fall in with all the hype of Christmas and do what the media and society thinks, or we can and center our celebration on why we really celebrate Christmas
I was trying to think of something to send to my son on his mission that would bring the reason for the holiday into his life without a lot of clutter that he would have to deal with if he got transferred. While discussing this with one of my daughters she suggested a sort of advent activity. With that in mind I called all his sisters and asked that they, along with their husbands write a little something to him, their testimonies, feeling about him serving a mission etc. I collected these along with some stories about his Grandparents and some Christmas stories. I put each one in an envelope and marked each one with a day so that he could open one every morning. I hope he liked it and will be able to see how much the gospel means to all of us.
I am teaching a lesson this Sunday at church and it is about creating a Christ centered Christmas. I have done a lot of soul searching trying to see if my choices are bringing me closer to this goal or if I am getting caught up in all the madness. I have come to the conclusion that I need to work harder to stay focused on Christ. In preparing my lesson I pulled out an Advent activity that me sister- in- law gave me a few years ago and that I shared with my ward sisters when I was the relief society pres. It gives you a different spiritual activity to do each day of Dec. along with a scripture and song. It is a great activity. I also found an activity that gives all the Book of Mormon references to the birth of Christ. One thing poem I sent to my son was about what Samuel the Lamanite said in his prophecy about the birth of Christ.
I think we all need to ask ourselves if our Choices during this time of year will bring us closer to Christ. I admit some of my choices need some fine tuning. I am bound and determined to bring my thoughts closer to the true meaning of Christmas. I am going to look for opportunities to act in His name, to be an instrument in His hands and to Serve. There is such a need if we will just make the Choice to follow the promptings that we receive and to be aware of those around us.

"WHEN SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LET PEOPLE FALL"

I am struggling a bit with how to approach this post. I have had some things happen in the past couple of years that have made me reflect a bit on some hard choices people have to make in their lives.
Does a person ALWAYS help someone out when you know that they might just keep on making the same mistake. But you also know that if you didn't help them out it could mean that they could end up in jail, or have a really negative effect on the rest of their life. You know that your choice to help them makes it so they never have to face the consequences of their choices.
What to do, what to do. Should a person make the choice to stand back and let the chips fall,but be there to try and help pick up the pieces. Do you walk away and hope they learn a lesson without doing to much damage? I don't know!
A person wants the effect of the choices they make to help others to be postive, but when the only effect you see is the person continuing to dig deeper, you really begin to question your choice. I guess you just have to do what you think is right, talk to the person you are trying to help and wait and see. I guess the old adage, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on ME. I know I have a bit of the enabler in me, I like to think I have that magic want that makes it all better. I have come to realize lately that some choices I have made, have made things worse for people, and they don't even know it.
I guess I am going to make a decision to make the choice to let people make their own mistakes. (as hard as that is going to be) The only way we grow is to face our mistakes, make the choice to change, and then DO IT> If I bale people out, I am depriving them of the opportunity to grow and learn. Wish me luck.

Gettin Older

Well here it is my birthday and it really doesn't bother me that I am another year older. I have made the choice to finally embrace all that comes with getting old, still I'm not going to just lay down and play dead, but I am not going to fight some things as hard.
Take my hair for example. For longer that I can remember I have been getting the color out of a bottle. Wasn't really sure what my natural hair color was anymore. I knew that the new hair that was coming in was getting pretty white, so I took it upon myself to fight the progress by getting it died every 6 or 7 weeks so that I didn't look like a skunk. This last year I decided to ease into letting it go gray by dying it a lighter blond color. That seemed to work better because the regrowth wasn't as noticeable. Anyway the last time I went in for a haircut and dye job, I made the hard CHOICE to just let it go the color it really was. So no dye job that time, and believe it or not it hasn't been to bad. In fact I have gotten allot of compliments on my "new" color. Kinda funny that when I let it go natural everyone thinks it looks great. So I am embracing the almost white hair. I look back on the last 20 years and honestly I think I have earned the "silver crown" that is adorning my head.
Now my weight is always going to be an issue. I am not really over weight I just don't weigh what I am used to weighing and since I REALLY food, (most of which isn't what a person can call low calorie) weigh will always be a struggle.Everyone tells me that gaining weight is to be expected as we get older, but I still want to make the choice to wage a small war on it. I have to choose to embrace this new figure, and that is still a work in progress. My mind is having a hard enough time getting used to looking at a white haired lady in the mirror, it goes into shock every time I ask it to accept the larger me. My mind seems to want to make the choice to fight with all its might, but my stomach and energy level seems to be overriding the choices my mind wants to make. This is the same old stuff, Just hate to exercise, but I need to make myself. I haven't been sleeping very good at all and the thought keep coming to me that if I would just do a little bit in the day I would sleep a whole bunch better. So once again I am going to try and make the right choice, every morning(or at least a couple times a week) (uh oh just gave myself an out) I will get my old body out of bed a little early and workout. Wish me luck again.
Getting older they say is a state of mind, you know the saying "You are only as old as you think you are" There are days I know I am at least 100. But I have decided to make the choice to focus on the age of about 45. I still felt pretty good at that age, so I just have to pull out all those old memories and make them stick in my mind.
The worst thing about getting older is that everyone you love is getting older also. This birthday I really miss my mom. I loved being able to go and visit with her and she would always call me her little girl (I am the youngest in my family) That always made me feel young and my mind would always go to all the things my mom would do for me on my birthday. I had some great parties when I was a kid. This year, because of life, I celebrated my birthday all by myself. Had a big bowl of homemade vanilla ice cream and some of Fallon's cantaloupe. Sure was tasty but I missed having someone here with me . I got to talk to all the girls, which was great and we got an email from the son, so that was good. but I missed having someone here to visit with and to tell me that I don't look a day over 35. ha,ha.
Anyway, the choice I am going to leave this post with is one of choosing to enjoy my age, love being a grandma and Nonnie to my grand kids. Try to be the best mom to my own children and show them all that getting older isn't a half bad trip.

Better Choices

Well here it is a whole summer later. I can't believe it has been since May that I have updated this blog. That was not a good "choice" but it was a choice never the less. So many things have gone on this summer and I have tried to make the choices that would put me in a positive place and for the most part I think I have been able to do this.
My son and daughter have made one of the best choices. They both made the choice to go to the temple and receive their endowments. It was a great day for our family. All my children were able to be at the temple that day. I sat there and looked at them all and I could see the eternities surrounding us, and us all being together. We were lucky enough to be surrounded by about 60 or more friends and family, what a day. I know this day didn't just happen. It was made possible by my son and daughter making some very tough but RIGHT choices, and working very hard. It took allot of faith and prayers for them both to know that this WAS the right choice for them. I know that I am sure grateful for the choice they both made.
Dad, had a rough summer. I wish I could have made it easier for him. In the end he was able to have his job returned to full time employment. Now he has to make sure that he makes the right choices so that we don't have to go through this again. This is one of the examples where the choices that are out of our control has a definite affect on us. So we need to make sure that we look at not only what our choices will do to us, but to take into consideration what effect it might have on our loved ones.
I have been having a hard time as of late and I am not sure exactly why or what choices I can make to help get myself back on top. I seem to be stuck in a bit of a depression. It just sort of happened. I have a good day here and there but for the most part I just don't have the energy to do much. I get up in the morning with the resolve to get allot done and accomplish something but breakfast and the dishes is about all I can do. I now have some understanding of others that go through this. It is hard and it is not something you can just snap your fingers and have it all better. I guess I just need to get on my knees and ask for help and guidance, and then try to make and stick to some positive choices. I think I need to make me a bit more of a priority. I have spent the last 34 years making sure everyone else is taken care of, I think I have forgotten how to really take care of myself. Wish me luck.
My son is now on his mission in Baltimore and I am so pleased that he made this choice. I know he will be such a great example to those he comes in contact with. This choice will really make a difference in his life.

Memories

I was listening to the Tabernacle Choir sing this morning while fixing breakfast and they sang the song "Oh What a Beautiful Morning". When I heard this song my mind went immediately to my Mom and Grannie. They both made the choice to see the good in everyday even tho they both had every reason to be bitter and negative. I need to find the words to that song and put them up on my mirror so that I can start everyday excited about what is ahead. My mom seemed to live for that excitement, she couldn't wait to see who she would meet, or who she would help that day. Grannie was the same way. She was the perfect person to be at the help desk in the bank. She always had a smile on her face and a hello for everyone that walked in. I am going to try and make this my Choice to work on for the week. I am going to go into the day knowing that the current day is going to be the BEST DAY EVER!!!!

Saying Goodbye to a Good Old Friend

We have had to make a hard Choice this week. We have had to decided what would be the best thing to do for our old and trusted horse SHOOTER. He has been a family friend for a long time. We got him at a time of another loss. Our mare BABE had gotten really sick with sand colic. (that is where a horse will eat rocks and sand, either by accident while they eat or just because they like to eat rocks) Babe had eaten so many tiny rocks that they had filled her stomach and had impacted in her intestines. Anyway dad took her down to Logandale in the middle of the night to see if there was anything they could do, but it was too bad and we had to put her down. Babe had sort of been Allison's "go to" horse so we were now one horse short. We put the word out around Alamo and a good friend, Andy Bailey, called and said that he was looking to sell his rope horse so that he could get a new one. We jumped on the opportunity and a beautiful palomino gelding came to live at our house. Alli fell in love with him as did all of us. He was so dependable that we parent never had to worry about our kids when they were on him. We knew that he would get them safely to the corral at the end of the day. He has been the first horse and only horse allot of our grandchildren have ridden, so there are enough pictures of the old guy around that I know we will never forget him. Anyway, over the past few years he has really gone down hill. He was 28 years old . This past winter was tough on him, we kept him in the barn as much as possible and he never lost his appetite, but he wasn't using anything he ate. Over the last couple of weeks he had started dragging his feet when he walked and he had lost ALLOT of weight, becoming just skin and bones. We couldn't stand to watch him suffer so we made the CHOICE to give him a dignified way out. Dad took him out to to Meghan and Cassidy's this past weekend so that he could be buried out on the range. It was hard and I will miss him but it was an easier choice that to come home and find him gone. The one thing I do know, is that Grandpa Jim and Grandpa Dodge just got one heck of a horse to ride.